Midget gets shorted at Big and Tall Store.

September 12th, 2008 | Story # 004

Walla Walla, WA – Chester McFeeley walked into Johnson’s Big and Tall yesterday evening, but when he left he his dignity was gone. Chester is a little person, commonly refered to as a midget, and was shopping that day for a gift for a coworker’s birthday. “Jim is a tall guy,” said McFeeley, “I wanted to get him a new tie because he wears that red one all the time.”

When Chester brought the tie up to the register the cashier told him that the total was $21.72 so Mr. McFeeley gave the girl at the register two $20 bills. That is when it all started to go downhill. The cashier gave Chester $8.28 as change when he was due $18.28. Chester noticed the error immediately and informed the cashier that he thought that she had accedentally shorted him. “When that midget guy said I shorted him I just could not contain myself,” said Inger, the tall Swedish college girl that worked the register on Thursdays.

She started laughing histarically saying “I shorted him, HEY EVERYONE, he says I shorted him.” Then the contagious laughter spread as employees and customers alike joined in on the mockery. By the time it was all over Chester felt like he was 2 feet tall, which was not far off of his 3′4″ stature.

“I am never going in there again,” said Chester when asked if he thought that the free pass to the amusement park given to him by the store manager would do anything to change his mind about the store. “I can’t even ride on the rides there, its like they wanted to humiliate me further. I hate them.”

Look to the Leek for more updates as this story develops.

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15 Year Old Highschool Student claims Homosexuality to meet girls.

September 5th, 2008 | Story Number 002

Wichita, Kansas – Wichita West High School freshman Gary Gorbeh says that he has finally found the secret to happiness… kind of. Young Gary has finally found acceptance after declaring to his classmates that he was gay.

“I am gay, like super gay, I like men, really,” said Gary at a lunch table filled with attractive young girls who now actually talk to the slightly pudgy zit faced youngster. Before coming out of the closet Gary was far less succesful with women. He had never been kissed, had never had a girlfriend, and had spent most of his weekends at home in his bedroom alone.

After declaring his alternative sexuality though, things changed dramatically. Now all of the most attractive girls at school have started calling him frequently. They want to spend time shopping with him, doing pedicures together, and say that it is great to have a guy they can talk to without worrying that he is trying to get into their pants.

Jessica Johanson, cheerleading captain for the Pioneers, says ”Gary is like totally cool, when I want to know what a guy might think about my new thongs I ask Gary. He will be honest and I don’t have to worry he is checking me out.”

“It feels good finally talking to all the cute girls,” said Gary, “when they invited me to that rainbow party to “Prove” my gayness… it just kinda sucked… literally.”

Gary has yet to figure out how to parlay his new found popularity into a girlfriend, but he thinks he will, “say he just wonders what a girl is like,” or some crap like that.

Look to The Leek for further updates as this story develops.