September, 5th 2008 | Story number 001
This moose could be the father
Wasilla, AK - Reporters are flocking to this sleepy Alaska town today, as America is suprised yet again. Sarah Palin, Republican VP Candidate, outdoorswoman, and nature lover appears to be pregnant with her sixth “child”.
Locals say that she was hunting alone while her husband was working on the North Slope Oil Project when the alleged interlude took place. ”I always knew Sarah would get into trouble out in those woods all alone,” said Jager Petersson, from his cabin on some lake somewhere, “I mean with her naughty librarian looks and that moose’s take her on the tundra attitude it was just a matter of time.”
Even in Alaska, where moose out number humans three to one, Moose and Human relationships are rare and nearly unheard of. Then again when has Sarah ever gone the normal route. She was the youngest person and the first woman to become Alaska’s Governor. She shocked the country when she was selected as John McCain’s running mate, and now she will become the first major political figure to give birth to a half human half moose freak baby.
Sarah Palin is fiercely Pro-Life, having already chosen to keep one special needs child. There is no doubt among the parishioners at her non-denominational, Bible thumping church, that she will keep the child as well.
Although many in the democratic party and Barack Obama’s campaign are not suprised, it appears that this latest challenge is only strengthening her appeal to the base. Leroy Jenkins, a self loathing black republican, summed up the views around here nicely, “I don’t care if the moose raped her or if she was just so drunk on power she thought it was Todd, I am still voting for Sarah Palin. That other guy is darker than winter in Fairbanks and I just don’t think people like him are ready to lead.”
Look to The Leek for further updates as this story develops.
Tags: Alaska, Barack Obama, Democrat, democrats, Funny, Humor, John McCain, McCain, Moose, News, Obama, Palin, Politics, President, Pro-Life, Religion, Republican, republicans, Sarah Palin, Satire, Vice President, Wasilla
